Has this ever happened to you: You finally accomplish a goal you’ve been hustling hard for, but instead of savoring the moment, you’re preoccupied with what’s next? In fact, you’re downright bummed you’re not further along the road to success? Well, here’s what to do when you don’t feel good enough.
First, ask yourself if this is really true. Are you really not good enough?
(No, of course not!)
So why is self-doubt playing this mind game with us and how do we handle it?
Read on to learn the simple tool you can start using today to help keep you in the moment and feeling positive—even when you don’t have a big win to celebrate!
Why Do We Feel Like We’re Not Good Enough?
Whenever this icky feeling creeps in, I call it “moving the goal post”—you’re immediately creating a new milestone for yourself to reach. And in the process, you’re reinforcing the idea that you are still not good enough.
You’re just not there yet.
You need more credits, a better agent, more publicity.
You need to book more often or every. single. time.
Then, you’ll be enough.
Sound familiar? You’re in good company. Most of us, at one point or another, will question our worth. There are lots of reasons this feeling is so prevalent.
You may have limiting beliefs about what it means to be successful or how the entertainment industry works. Maybe you measure success by material things, the size of your body or social status. Maybe you believe that connections will always trump talent.
Another common reason we feel like we’re not good enough is because of the people around us. When you surround yourself with critical or negative people, it has an effect on your own inner dialogue. The same goes for the media you’re consuming. If you need a little help reevaluating those toxic relationships, click here.
The Idea of “Being Enough” Is A Myth
The truth is that you are worthy regardless. Regardless of making it as a working actor, regardless of your success and failures, and whether or not you feel it to be true.
Sorry, babe, but you are awesome, no matter what!
This worry that we need to hit some intangible, invisible benchmark in order to be deserving of respect, security, kindness and choice is detrimental to our mental and physical well-being. Running full steam on this treadmill of negativity will leave you exhausted, stressed out, irritable and sad.
But there is hope, if we can notice what triggers these thoughts and replace them with more positive (and realistic) ones.
As author Amber Rae says in her book, Choose Wonder Over Worry: Move Beyond Fear and Doubt to Unlock Your Full Potential, “Setting ourselves free from this belief begins when we learn to see the stories in our mind for what they are: myths, not truths.”
Rae offers that we can reconnect with our wonder by leaning on the three C’s as guides — Courage, Curiosity, and Compassion. We’ve talked about courage—feeling the fear and doing it anyway. We’ve talked about Curiosity—adopting a beginner’s mindset. And now we’ve come to Compassion.
Use Affirmations To Show Yourself Compassion
Once upon a time, these affirmations were considered on the fringe of pop culture. (They were even the topic of a long-running SNL skit.) But recently, personal affirmations have gone mainstream.
An affirmation is a positive assertion, usually spoken aloud, and the word is derived from Latin, originally meaning “to make steady or strengthen.” And that’s just what affirmations help do, strengthen your belief in yourself and empower you to keep moving forward.
Here are just a few examples:
I’m worthy and more than enough, just as I am.
I’m safe and secure and know that I am always taken care of.
Creative energy surges through me and leads me to new and brilliant ideas.
My body is healthy; my mind is clear; my soul is peaceful.
Today, I abandon my old habits and take up new, more positive ones.
I am grateful for all that I am, for all that I have, and for what is yet to come.
How To Write Your Own Affirmations
I recommend you write your own affirmations. It’s a perfect way to sit in your own power and mold your future from the inside out. If, as Jerry and Esther Hicks say, the world around us is the result of past thoughts and beliefs, then the purpose of affirmations is to imagine your new reality and experience the truth of it.
- Start with the present tense, first person. “I am…” is a great beginning.
- Affirm what you want instead of what you don’t want. You get what you ask for, so let’s not give any more energy to negative things.
- Be super specific.
- Include an action word (I like ones ending in -ing).
- Include an emotional word, if you can. I think this adds power to your affirmation.
The best affirmations reconnect us to our core values, our big WHY. They are also the most influential when they really make you feel something, so try a few different ones on for size. The ones that really make you say, “Oh yeah, that’s what I’m talkin’ about”; the ones that give you the little heart smile—those are the ones that are the most potent.
So that whenever the crazy ups and downs of the industry make you feel like you’re not good enough, you can use these affirmations to remind yourself why you love acting or whatever creative path you’re on—and why you chose it in the first place.
If you’re not comfortable writing your own affirmations, there are lots of options to provide a starting point. I love affirmation card decks, as they are visually inspiring and you can keep the card with you during the day.
You can also check out The High 5 Habit by coach and author Mel Robbins for an out-of-the-box take on how to start your day off with more confidence and energy.
However you choose to use it, affirmations are a way to elevate your energy and get to the truth about you, not these misbeliefs you’re holding on to. So make it fun and remember to say it again, and again, and again and again…
How do you handle it when you feel not good enough? Have you given affirmations a try? I’d love to hear your favorites. Let me know in the comments below!
LOVE + clear skies!