I’m sure you’ve heard that the most important relationship you’ll ever have is with yourself. And I’m sure you’ve heard of the love languages, right? So while the love languages usually give some insight into the romantic (or other) relationships in our lives, your primary love language can also guide you to how you can best give love to yourself.
Think of it as your self-love language!
So sure, we can shower our partners with adoration on Valentine’s Day, but the key to a happy, healthy life is appreciating and prioritizing your unique and badass self.
How do you like to be treated in a relationship? What activities and gestures make you feel most special? These aren’t just clues for your romantic partners but signals of how you can best love yourself too.
By now, you’re probably familiar with Gary Chapman’s ultra popular book, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts. In it, he describes five different ways we give and receive love: words of affirmation, receiving gifts, quality time, physical touch, or acts of service.
You can take a quick quiz on his website here to get a better idea of which of the five you respond to the most, and then you can dive deeper into the book for more info on your results.
In the meantime, here are a few ways to get started turning your love language into supportive self-love.
Whisper Sweet Nothings
If words of affirmation capture your heart, you probably love a good compliment. So why not give yourself a confidence boost. Create your own personal mantras that celebrate your favorite qualities, traits, features and accomplishments.
And be sure to keep the love flowing throughout the day. Post little love notes to yourself around your home, in your car or slip one in your purse. I have a client who used to create a sporadic calendar notification with an affirmation that would surprise her on her phone.
Signed, Sealed, Delivered… I’m Yours!
If gifts are your jam, say it loud and proud. We’re not talking Material Girl here. Most people who perk up at gifts are into that warm, fuzzy feeling of finding the most thoughtful present for a loved one, not the actual dollar amount of said gift.
So when you’re shopping for yourself, don’t be afraid to splurge on something that you’d really appreciate. Or buy yourself a few smaller gifts to spread out over time. After all, you work hard, and it is a sign of self respect and knowing your own worth to provide yourself with what you need–and want!
Pencil Me In
Ah, there may be nothing sweeter than a little peace and quiet after a long day of work, family or both! If quality time with your special someone is high on your list, make room in your calendar for a little “me-time.”
Solitude is not the downer it’s often made out to be. It’s actually a great way to relax and refresh your mind. And time without distractions (no scrolling allowed!) will help you work through any issues that have surfaced during your day.
So whether you meditate, soak in the tub, take a nap (or better yet, a coffee nap?) or just cozy up in an armchair and unwind, try to fit in 30-60 minutes a day of alone time to reap consistent benefits.
Let’s Get Physical
Sometimes, you don’t realize how powerful physical affection is until it’s gone, but touch is actually a basic human need. It can signify to our brains security and trust as well as create intimacy between friends and lovers alike.
If you scored highest in this love language, it doesn’t just mean sex but everything from hand holding and bear hugs to pats on the back and high fives. And it’s very easy to bring this language into the self-love arena.
Simply practice grounding yourself with your hand on your heart and taking some deep belly breaths. You can also combine this with your quality time or words of affirmation.
Lend a Helping Hand
Women spend a lot of time helping others, and our society reinforces the role of a woman as a nurturer and caregiver. So acts of service may cause you to feel like you’re being high maintenance or a nag. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
In fact, many people who are drawn to this Love Language are very self-sufficient, which makes those moments of kindness all the more special. For you, actions speak louder than words.
You can turn this into a self-love practice by getting some of those big tasks on your to-do list checked off–you know, the ones you’ve been procrastinating on but they’d really make your life easier if completed.
Make yourself a priority, and try to make headway on one task a day. By the end of the month, you’ll be amazed by how much you’ve accomplished.
What’s your Love Language? How are you going to transform it into your very own self love language?
Let me know in The Badass Beauty Club, and join me every Friday at 9AM for a Facebook LIVE discussion. We’ll be talking the Top Five Causes of Cravings!!
LOVE + healthy habits!